


In Secret

by BlueHaku



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Sexual Tension, Solavellan, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26643817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueHaku/pseuds/BlueHaku
Summary: After disbanding the Inquisition, Ellana Lavellan is still secretely working with her former companions to find the Dread Wolf. But unbeknownst to her friends, she may have some secrets of her own.Also time travel.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Fen'Harel/Female Lavellan (Dragon Age)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic if we don't count a silly incomplete drabble I had on fanfiction.net years back so bear with me y'all! 😅  
> I will do the best I can with lore and terminology but if I get some stuff wrong I apologize.  
> I know this chapter is super short but I needed to go ahead and post something to encourage myself to keep on writing this fic.  
> Thank you for reading!

"We still have no new leads on his whereabouts." Leliana sighed with frustration. Her nose wrinkled, as well as between her brows. Even in the dim, torch lit room Ellana could see her eyes were heavy and red from lack of sleep. 

Leliana's hands slapped the table as she leaned over to look at the map again, her usually polished red hair fell disheveled around her face.

"Never have I had someone elude me so well. What am I doing wrong?"

Ellana's heart tugged. Her spymaster turned friend was trying so hard and she knew some of that frustration was for the hurt that Ellana still felt from Solas' absence. She had confided in Leliana several times over the years, who never ceased to help pick up the pieces when she was falling apart.

She put a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. "You need sleep. We'll start back at it again in the morning."

Lelianna shook her head, defeated. "I was so certain my agents would find something on that last mission but it was just another dead end. How is Solas doing this?"

"The eluvians make one hard to find. Morrigan said they helped her and her family hide for some time years ago. Who knows what all they are capable of." Ellana stretched her back out and yawned. "We need a clear head for this. I'm heading to bed. You should too."

Leliana sighed again and finally pushed away from the table. "I suppose so. I'm getting too worked up right now which won't help anything. Thank you for your concern. I wont overdo it, you do not have to worry."

"I know. And thank you for all that you are doing." 

"Of course. Our world is at stake. I am relieved to see your spirits have been so well the last few days though. Keep the faith my friend, we will find him." 

Ellana gave a small smile and nodded goodnight before parting to her quarters. When she stepped into her room, she was greeted by the glow of a candle on the bedside table. It was inviting albeit small compared to her quarters in Skyhold, but she didn't mind the lack of space. 

Sometimes her old room was too large and cold for her taste anyway. 

Except for the few times when he was there with her. 

Those rare moments when he would stay until she fell asleep. Reading his books by candlelight or sometimes his own veilfire.  
She lied down in her bed, pulling the tattered quilt over her shoulders and feeling her own guilt slowly sink into her stomach. 

She knew she should tell Leliana the truth. It's wasn't right. 

Shaking the thoughts from her head she closed her eyes and let herself drift to sleep without even changing into her night clothes. She could not wait a second longer to see him.


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep came quickly for Ellana and soon she found herself once again in the rotunda back in Skyhold. 

She was physically far from there now, spending nights in small discreet lodgings while she, Leliana, and Josephine continued their search for Solas. Only to pack up and move to a new location a few weeks later. 

How she missed this place. 

So many times she had hurried to meet Solas here after a long day of politics and closing rifts. He made her feel whole and safe. Like herself again.

Back then, he would always try to subdue his own excitement when he saw her walk through the door. She always thought it was his own shyness that kept him so reserved. Little did she know then about the internal struggles he was constantly battling.

This time, however, she could clearly see his joy and relief when he turned to see her. 

"Ellana. I am so glad you came. I feared-"

She ran and threw her arm around him before he could finish. 

He was shocked at first and then smiled softly before locking his own arms around her slender frame and burying his nose into her hair. 

"I missed you, vhenan." He mumbled into it. 

"I missed you. I'm sorry I got here so late. Thank you for waiting."

"I would wait for eternity to see you again. Is everything alright where you are?"

She thought of Leliana then. She had been so frustrated, persistently going over failed plans until late into the night. Josephine had given in to her exhaustion and gone to bed while Ellana accompanied Leliana to let her vent. 

She felt responsible for Leliana's frustration now more than ever and imagined what Leliana would say if she knew the elusive Solas that continued to slip through everyone's fingers time and time again was standing before her now, albeit in the fade. 

They had been meeting in dreams for some time. But not until recently had he revealed himself in his true form instead of his wolven one. And then it took some time after that for her to convince him to stay long enough to talk.

But he finally did. 

And they had been meeting in secret for weeks now. 

The past few nights had been most especially exquisite for Ellana. Solas had started a habit of kissing her goodnight before leaving her in the fade and he was revealing a side of himself that he always guarded before. Walls were breaking down for both of them.

Ellana was hopeful. She would redeem him. She would show him there was another way.

She looked up to meet his eyes, still wrapped in his long arms. "Everything's fine. You are getting under Leliana's skin, however. I think I should tell her about us meeting like this. I feel so guilty when she's working so hard to find you."

He gave a small humorless laugh. "It is not as if you have found me either. We have yet to meet in person, therefore, you are not hiding anything because you do not know any more than she does." 

"Are you planning on never telling me?" she quipped. "Will you just lead me on with secret fade meetings until the end of my days? Or perhaps these meetings are to destract me and deter me from stopping your plans." 

She was teasing him, truly. But she could see some hurt in his eyes. They had spoken of these things many times already and she was confident his meeting with her was out of sincerity, not ulterior motives.

He gave her a stern look then. "I would tell you my location, in a heartbeat, vhenan. But it is dangerous where I am. Many are trying to kill me and I would not put you in harm's way. However, that brings me to what I wanted to talk about tonight. What I have been working on."

Ellana's arm fell away from him and she stepped out of his embrace. Things took a more serious tone. "I'm listening."

Solas began to walk a slow pace around the rotunda, his fingers brushing past his own frescos as he spoke. "For many years I have toyed with the idea of time. You know how dangerous it can be from your experience with Alexius' amulet. But I have been working on a spell since my time in Elvhenan. For awhile, I deemed it impossible but, within the past year, I began working on it again...and I have made progress."

Ellana stood in place as she listened. "What is it you are trying to do Solas?" Her voice was wary as was her expression. 

He came to stand in front of her again. "I know it is difficult to fully trust me, Ellana. After all I have put you through. But I think I have a way to fix things. Except not just fix them, undo them."

She shook her head. "This sounds dangerous. I cannot promise to be supportive but I will hear you out."

"I understand. Thank you." He reached for her hand and raised it to his lips, placing a soft kiss there before resuming. "The eluvians are the key. To the time spell. I believe I can go back in time to when everything fell apart in Elvhenan and fix it."

"So this world will most likely never exist if that happens, right? Great plan, Solas."

She began to walk off her anger, but he reached for her arm, holding it gently. 

"Wait, vhenan. I would not let that happen. This world is important, I have finally learned that thanks to you. It is the reason I was able to meet you after all. If anything ever changed, I would not allow it to have any negative effect on those that have lived in this world and time. If anything, hopefully it could make their lives easier. Less death and horror.  
Now, I have no right to ask this of you, so please forgive me in advance. But I think that if you go through the eluvian to Elvhenan's past, you can help me make the right decisions to not only undo all the horrors, but still preserve the current world as well."

"Help you? So you want to go together?"

"No. I want you to help the past version of myself. The one in Elvhenan. I will stay, because I have to help you get back through the eluvian to our time and I am the only one who can cast the spell."

Ellana threw a hand up. "Was all of this a setup? You meeting me in secret, showing affection, letting your guard down? Was all of that just to convince me to help you with your new plan?" 

"Ellana, no. I would never-"

Their surroundings shifted suddenly, hazing around them in a blur until it settled into clarity again in another familiar setting. A waterfall and two large elk statues. The place where he broke her heart.

Solas' eyes saddened, knowing Ellana's pain had shifted the fade here. "Vhenan."

"I want to trust you." She held back tears. "I do. But how can I? You have lied so much. Even though I have never given you a reason not to trust me!"

"I know. I can never make up for how I have wronged you. The mark, losing your arm, causing you pain, all of this is my fault. I want to fix it. I want a future with you. And this is the only way I know how to make that possible."

"A future? How does this have to do with us? I would be going back to save the Elvhen people, not my people. For all I know I will erase the possibility of me ever existing!"

"I would never let that happen, Ellana! Your safety is my priority above anything else. With this spell, there are boundaries. It is not chaotic and unpredictable like Alexius' amulet. You will remain safe no matter what changes are made and you will remember everything. You will not forget about any timeline you have lived in, including this one."

"Why me?" She slumped onto a moss covered rock nearby, the water causing a dancing reflection of light on her face.

"If there is a way to save both our worlds it is by convincing my past self to do things differently. Only you can do that."

She stood still for what seemed like ages, lost in thought. Solas only waited patiently with her. 

"It is your choice." He whispered. "Do not feel forced to do this. I only offer it because I truly believe it can help your world as well my people."

"Our world. Why cant my world be yours too?"

"Ellana, wherever you are is my home."

His voice from the last time they were here together rang in her ears.

"In another world-"

"Why not this one?" She had cried.

Apparently, the fade had remembered it loud enough for Solas to hear as well and he knelt before Ellana, his arms wrapping around her legs and placing a kiss to her knee. "Ir abelas." He whispered. "I was so foolish. I thought allowing myself such joy in this life was selfish. That I would be forgetting all those I had wronged. Then I just hurt you instead. I now know I was wrong and that you have more wisdom than I could ever hope to have myself. I trust you with this decision because I dont trust the fate of the world in my hands. I will help you try the time spell or I will forget it altogether and surrender to you now."

"Surrender?" She gaped. 

"What more can I do now than cause more pain? The only time I have ever done anything right is when we worked together."

"Solas." She met his eyes, looking for any dishonesty there. "So if I say no to the time spell, you will give up on all that you have worked for? Leave your people to their fate in exchange for my people's safety?"

"Yes. It is past time, vhenan. The people of this world cannot pay for my mistakes. And I am so sorry it has taken this long for me to say it. I will respect whatever you decide."

"If you surrender, this world will want you to pay for your crimes. You would be a prisoner."

"I would only ask to visit you from time to time in dreams. That would be enough."

She placed her hand under his chin and tilted his head up toward her face. His eyes held so much sorrow her heart could hardly bare it. "That would not be enough for me, Solas."

He hung his head in guilt. "Yes, you deserve better. I would leave you be if you wished it. Let you move on and finally find happiness instead of so much sorrow."

Her look was angry. "Oh, so it would be that easy for you? To just let me go?"

"Never." He gritted his teeth, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "I would die inside. But you-"

"If I wanted to move on, Solas, I have had the freedom at any second to do so. But I choose you and all that you come with. No matter how sad or hurt I have been, you are my heart. And I know you have been sad and hurt too and it's not like you ever enjoyed causing me pain. I know you want me. That you love me. Why else would I hang on so tightly to what we have? You have a good heart and unfortunately you have been a victim of some shitty circumstances which doesn't justify what you have done, but it does help me understand it. That's why I will do whatever I can to fight for our future. A future where we can live in peace together and be free. And saving both of our people in the process makes it a worthy cause." 

His face went blank with shock. Clearly he had not been expecting her to consider any other option than surrender. 

She cupped his cheek with her hand, wiping a tear from it with the pad of her thumb. "Now, tell me more about this time spell, vhenan."


	3. Chapter 3

The plan was set. Ellana would meet Solas in person the next night to travel through the Eluvian by his time spell. She would arrive in Elvhenan during the time when Solas had begun freeing slaves and removing their vallaslin.

"I will have a decent following, and a safe house where we all stay. It is hidden and protected by my magic." Solas had told her. "There is one minor concern. If my past self- ah, I will refer to him as Fen'harel which is what you will hear most others call me there. If Fen'Harel finds you without vallaslin on your face, he will be suspicious of who removed it. I can make you a temporary paint that you will have to apply every few days, just until you gain his trust. Then you can decide when you would like to reveal the truth to him."

Ellana grimaced. "Hearing you reference your past self as some sort of separate person is strange."

"It is only for ease of explanation, vhenan. We are one in the same, apart from experiences. He will care for you as I do or I would not risk sending you to him."

She slept restlessly that night, her mind mulling over plans and preparations.

When she woke the next morning she could have sworn she had not slept a wink but the memory of meeting Solas in the fade proved otherwise. She was now faced with the decision of whether or not to let her companions know where she was going that night but telling them seemed more trouble than it was worth. If she was putting her world or friends in danger they would deserve to know but the safety of both was her top priority. She would not allow harm come to anyone. 

Leliana was leaning over the dining table in the kitchen of the small cottage where they were temporarily staying, her eyes raking over maps and letters. 

Ellana entered as casually as possible. She put on a pot of water and reached for an empty cup when Leliana's eyes snapped up.

"You know something."

Ellana froze with the mug in her hand. "I'm sorry?"

"I can see it. In your body language. You know something and you are not telling me."

Shit. 

"Leliana I am not sure that you-"

"Don't. Do not lie to me. You of all people. I have done so much to help you. I put complete trust in you. You cannot keep secrets from me, Inquisitor."

Although Ellana's mind panicked, she controlled her physical reaction well enough. "Leliana, you know I am no longer the Inquisitor. Please, call me Ellana."

"Do not try to redirect-"

"I am not! I know you have been under a lot of stress lately, hell the past few years! And I have been in all of this shit with you! I will gladly talk to you about what you may be reading from my body language but do not speak to me like some traitor and not your friend. I will always listen to you vent and share your frustration because I care for you, but do not make me a target for your anger."

Leliana's back straightened. "Very well," she sighed. "Let us speak in a civil manner. Please, explain."

Ellana sat in a chair next to the table covered with Leliana's papers, her tea would have to wait. "I have seen Solas in my dreams."

Leliana went rigid. "In the fade?"

"Yes. Though he has not made much contact and only appears in the form of a wolf."

"Not much contact? What fucking contact has he made? Ellana, have you spoken to him and not told me?"

"Fenedhis, may we speak and not argue?"

"Fine." She gritted her teeth. "Go on."

"There has been nothing to tell. I do not know his whereabouts. The only contact has been once when I called out to him in the fade. I...was upset. I begged him to stop hiding from me, tormenting me. And he came."

Leliana's nostrils flared.

"It was about a month ago. He came to me but did not speak to me. He was still in the form of a wolf but I know his spirit. I knew it was him. He laid down next to me and stayed with me there for a long time, until my mind eased. I have not found him again since."

Leliana struggled to keep her words steady and calm as promised. "Why did you not tell me?"

"Nothing happened to forward our progress. I saw it as a bit of selfish indulgence on my part at the cost of no one's safety. If anything, it did give me some hope that perhaps I will eventually break through to him. Perhaps one night he will return to me in the fade in his true form and speak to me. It was just...such a private moment. It was a precious memory that I did not want twisted into some broken down form of evidence when I knew there was nothing for you to gain from it."

"With as much effort as I am putting into our cause any contact with him is my business too. No matter how private or romantic you deem it." 

"You are right. And I sincerely apologize. I can see how it would be infuriating to hear from your point of view. But please know, Leliana, my love for him may be be strong but I will never betray my friends or the safety of our world."

Leliana's eyes only narrowed. "I would hope not, Ellana. If you ever so much as catch a glimpse of him again I better know about it."

"Understood." She stood from the chair and headed back to her pot of water to finish making her tea, although she much preferred to run away as far as possible. But trying to escape Leliana's presence too soon would just add to suspicion. 

It was going to be a long day.


	4. Chapter 4

Ellana was exhausted. 

Leliana watched and analyzed her every move until they both finally retired to their own rooms for the night. Not much else was ever said between them after their tense conversation in the kitchen.

When Ellana flopped on her bed with a sigh, she tried to rest her mind for a bit before preparing to meet Solas in only a few hours. As if their outlandish plans to send her back in time through an eluvian were not stressful enough, it would also be the first time she saw him in person in almost a year.

The thought if seeing him in the flesh gave her anxiety as well as excitement. She had dreamed of this day. The last time she saw him was when he removed the anchor but she tried to remind herself that this meeting was not for her own selfish desires. They were tampering with the fate of the world. 

She closed her eyes, thinking a quick nap might do her well but her mind would not allow sleep. So she laid there quiet and still, mind racing, until it was time.

She pulled her cloak over her shoulders, throwing the hood over her head, and packed a few necessities into a brown leather bag that hung crossbody. She opened the window to her room as quietly as possible, and threw her bedroll out onto the grass outside. Thankfully, her room was on the ground floor and the window large enough to fit through. When her feet hit the ground she latched the window back in place and hiked her bedroll up onto her back by its straps. 

No one seemed to be making any noise from inside so she snuck off until she was further from the cottage and out of ears reach. Then she ran. 

It was quite dark until she reached the remote village near the cottage where they stayed. She slowed her pace then. It was a small village, only a few buildings, but warm and inviting. She walked along the outskirts of it, staying in the darkness as much as possible, until she saw the wooded area she was looking for. A group of willow trees hung low by a small creek. The water trickled through the rocks, and she followed the creek until she saw a cave. Their meeting point. 

Ellana wondered how Solas seemed to know every area and landmark so well, most likely due to his agents lurking everywhere. 

She entered the meeting place, checking over her shoulders continuously. She trusted Solas, or else she would not have agreed to their meeting, but she was still wary of her surroundings in the dark. 

"I am here, vhenan." She heard the familiar voice speak softly from further inside the cave. 

She saw him slowly approach, holding a torch lit with veilfire. The flames cast a glow on his chiseled features and revealed a small smile there. 

"Solas." Her voice shook. 

It would be heaven to throw her arm around his neck and kiss him. To tell him she loved and missed him and would pathetically do anything he asked, including travel through time. 

But she felt it would also be unwise. He would not see her as a love drunk fool. This was a serious matter that involved more lives than theirs. 

He wore a hooded cloak and the darkness under his eyes made him look more tired than he ever did in her dreams. 

She found herself tentatively reaching up to place her hand on his cheek. His skin was pale and he leaned into her touch. 

"Creators, you're freezing. And you look so tired," she whispered, concern in her eyes. "Solas...are you alright?"

His faint smile fell. "Do not worry for me. I have had a lot on my mind, mostly the spell. I had to ensure it was safe and would work as planned so it has taken up most of my time and energy."

"Are you low on mana?"

"Most likely. Perhaps lower than I thought. This spell is unlike any other I have ever attempted. I am...I-" 

His words suddenly slurred and eyes rolled back as he slumped into her. 

She quickly reached out to support him as best she could, grabbing the torch before it fell to the ground. His weight was heavy but she was strong enough to steady him until his eyes focused on her again, their faces close to touching. He looked ashamed as he gently pushed away from her to brace himself on the cave wall beside them.

"Ir-Ir abelas." 

"What have you done to yourself, Solas? This is dangerous, you can't be in this condition with threats all around you!"

"It's alright," he said softly. "I should have the strength to cast the spell and then I will recover once you are through the eluvian."

"What, in this dingy cave? You can't be serious." 

"I-"

"Don't move!" A hostile voice interrupted them from outside. 

Ellana cursed and stepped quickly in front of Solas while casting a barrier around them.

"Come out, Ellana!"

That voice.

Ellana spotted the intruder by a tree and could see red hair behind the raised bow and arrow. "Creators, no. It's Leliana. Oh, gods, Solas, I am so sorry. I don't know how she- I tried so hard to-"

His hand reached for her shoulder. "I am the one who asked you to do this. I knew it was a risk. You still have a choice. I will tell her I am surrendering now and she can take me in. But if you want to try the spell, the mirror is nearby and we must hurry." 

"It was not supposed to happen this way. Fenedhis, if I leave you are in no shape to defend yourself! You will be safer surrendering!"

"Do not base it on my safety. You can change anything that happens here tonight. You must do what you feel is right." 

"You were supposed to help me back through the mirror! How will I return if something happens to you?"

"Take this." He exchanged the veilfire lit torch she held for his jawbone necklace. "I wish we had more time. There was much I wished to explain if you decided to go through with our plans tonight. But it must be brief. The necklace contains a memory spell. When the time is right, give it to Fen'Harel. It will help him understand where you come from as well as how to help you return."

An arrow shot through the cave, shattering the barrier and then crumbling before their feet. 

"Damn it, Leliana stop!" She screamed, panic rising in her chest now. "You don't know what you're doing! Just talk to me!" 

"It is too late!" Leliana barked back. "I have given you chance after chance to talk and you lied to me! You are nothing but Fen'Harel's whore and a traitor!" 

Ellana felt Solas' hand still on her shoulder slightly squeeze. He cast his own barrier just before another arrow headed straight for her chest. 

"Solas, save your energy!" She turned to him as he knelt to one knee, breathing labored. 

"You must decide before you are in more danger. Please, vhenan. " His eyes met hers and her heart broke to see him so weak and frail, yet still trying to protect her. Tears formed at the cruel thought of leaving him like this. 

"Can't you come with me?" 

"I do not have the power to send us both. You will still have me there, just a younger version. One that has not made so many mistakes. I know he will help you and...love you. As I did in this time." 

"Solas," she whispered and placed a chaste kiss to his lips. "I will undo this. And I will see you again, I promise." Her tears fell heavily now. 

He smiled wearily. "I will see you. Var lath vir suledin."

She nodded, a small sob escaping her lips.

Solas' hands flicked through the air, casting the time spell toward the eluvian hidden further back into the cave. The mirror seemed to absorb it and began to glow with blue pulsing energy making it easy to see in the dark. When the spell was complete, he sat on the ground with his back against the cave wall, near unconsciousness.

"Hurry," he muttered. "It will not be...active for long." 

Ellana cast one more barrier over his exhausted body, for whatever it was worth. Then she ran through the eluvian before it was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

"Solas... Ah! Please...don't stop."  
Ellana's breath came in heavy pants as her body writhed on his lap. 

Solas' hands were underneath her loose nightshirt, cupping her breasts and kneading them. Their mouths finding an addicting rhythm against one another that matched her hips. 

She felt him harden against her and his movement began to still. His hands fell away from her chest as he broke their kiss. 

No. Don't stop. Please.

But he always did. He would never allow himself to go any further than this. 

"Vhenan," she held his face in her hands. "I want this. Why do you hold back? Do you...do you not-"

"I want you more than anything, Ellana. But there are things that I have not yet shared with you. I cannot allow myself to be so intimate with you if I have not shared all of myself first."

"Then share it. There is nothing you could say that would make me feel any different for you. I know your heart." 

"In time. You have more important things to focus on." He tucked a loose strand of raven colored hair behind her ear and then gently lifted her by her waist off of his lap. "You need your rest. I will bother you tonight no longer." 

Don't. Don't end it here again. 

"Please. Don't do this again. Stop running away from what you want. From me. I know you don't want it to end either."

This was all so familiar. Had it happened before?

"Yes." He answered with unusual enthusiasm. "You're right. I will not deny either of us what we want anymore."

He approached her again and kissed her ravenously. Ellana moaned into it. This was...amazing...a dream come true...and...not how this memory went at all. He had stopped that night. He left her alone in her bedroom at Skyhold with her thoughts and questions.

This was not Solas and what was happening to her was not a dream come true, but simply just a dream.

She shoved the imposter away and his face was shocked and hurt in return.

"Get away from me," she growled through gritted teeth. "What are you? A desire demon?"

"Demon?" he asked. "No. Why would you ever think such a thing, vhenan?"

"Do not call me that! Leave me!"

"But you need me." He urged. "You need him desperately. I can help you."

"Who are you? Tell me!"

"I am a spirit of love. Your love for him was too strong for me to ignore. You yearned like no one I have ever felt. I-" 

Suddenly the spirit disguised as Solas was ripped away from the dream. She stood alone in her old room in Skyhold, mouth open in confusion. Before she could react any further she was being ripped away from the dream as well. 

She was waking up. Her eyes blurred and then refocused on different yet familiar surroundings. 

The cave.

Why was she still here? 

She tried to sit up from where she lay on the hard ground but her body was unexpectedly heavy. 

"Careful, lethallan. You are weak." A voice said gently as she felt someone assist her. It was a male elf with long white hair. Beside him, another tall elf, both of them clad in golden armor. Her eyes locked on the standing one's face. He was different, but she would always recognize those eyes. "Solas." She whispered. Her voice was raspy and it took all her energy to finish a sentence. "Solas...did it work?"

And then she felt her consciousness slipping again. "What happened? I...I..."

"Save your energy. We will help you," Solas said softly. 

And her eyes blurred again as she fell back asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Ellana woke to the sound of a crackling fire. Her aching body shifted toward the sound, hand brushing across silk linens as her eyes focused to see the bed she laid in was simple but nicely dressed in emerald and copper tones. The room around her was pleasantly warm though she was barely dressed. All her original clothes were gone except for her undergarments and over that she wore a slightly sheer white nightgown made of a delicate material. She quickly pulled the heavy comforter further up her body when she noticed, across the room, an elven man sitting in a chair by the fireplace. His profile was illuminated by the fire's warm glow, and her heart skipped a beat at the recognition. It was him.

Or was it?

No, it couldn't be. 

His long hair was a deep shade of brown, almost auburn when the light hit it. He wore half of it pulled back, though some tendrils fell around his face as he looked down at the book in his lap. 

She inhaled a nervous breath, preparing to say something but unsure what. Before any words could leave her mouth his eyes lifted from his book and widened when they met hers. 

"You are awake!" he said, setting his book down on a nearby table and quickly walking over to the bed where she lay. "You had me quite worried, lethallan."

When he approached, she was certain it was Solas, just not the one she was familiar with. His appearance was just as he described it would be when they spoke in the fade nights ago. It seemed the time spell had actually been successful. Not that she doubted Solas' abilities, but to see his past self...Fen'Harel...standing in front of her now was so surreal. She took a moment before speaking to admire his casual yet beautiful clothes, a woven tunic with intricate gold embroidery and leggings the color of dark wine. He looked so young, though he was already a few thousand years old. 

She sat up, leaning against the plush pillows behind her. "How long have I been here?" 

"We found you only last night," he answered. "It is afternoon now. Looks like you just needed a good nights rest." He fetched a glass of water from the bedside table and handed it to her. 

"Thank you." She eagerly gulped the entirety of the liquid down. "Everything is still a bit foggy." She set the cup back on the table and tried to rub away the tiredness from between her eyes. "Could you remind me what all happened?"

Fen'Harel pulled up a wooden chair and sat in it beside the bed as if about to begin an interrogation before answering. "We were exploring the area for more rebels. There are many deserting the old ways nowadays who need safety and shelter. We came across you in the cave but you were unconscious. You had drawn the attention of a spirit there, who we drove away when we approached. It seemed to be troubling you."

She remembered passing through the eluvian and the strange dream with the spirit disguised as Solas, but she had no recollection as to how she came to be in this place.

"Could you tell what kind of spirit it was?" she asked.

"It was a spirit of love. I must admit I have never seen one so persistent."

So the spirit had told the truth about its identity. Interacting with them here would surely be different, as the veil had not yet been created. The image of herself writhing on Solas' lap flooded her thoughts and she inhaled a sharp breath through her nose before casting the thought away. "I would not have guessed a spirit of love, of all qualities, could be so troublesome," she whispered almost to herself. 

He chuckled. The sound of it still gave her butterflies. "Indeed. Love tends to get itself into trouble quite frequently. We do owe it our gratitude, however, for we would not have found you in the cave had it not been causing such commotion. It took us a few tries to break the hold it had on your mind." He cleared his throat. "Would it be too bold of me to ask why?"

"I- there was...or is someone important to me I may have been thinking about."

His eyes were penetrating, unashamed to show his curiosity as he leaned forward. "A lover, I assume."

She avoided his stare, offering nothing more before asking, "Where are we?"

That broke his gaze and he sat straighter again. "This is my home," he replied. "As well as many others'. The safe house of the rebellion. We can help you leave, but we would have to do so in a manner that would not reveal our location to you."

"No, I wish to stay," she answered quickly. "I have been searching for the rebellion for some time, hoping to join. I ran from my master, that is why you found me in the cave."

"Was your master...abusive?" His eyes glanced to where her arm was missing, hesitant and brief as to not be disrespectful. 

"Aren't they all?" 

"Most likely," he nodded with a frown. "It seems you have already done the work of removing your vallaslin as well. I did not know there were others who could perform such a spell." His tone was light but she could hear the suspicion buried there. 

She had forgotten all about the temporary ink Solas had planned to give her. Once Leliana arrived at the cave and rushed their plans she assumed he had forgotten as well. "I did not perform the spell to remove it," she answered honestly. 

"Then who did, may I ask?"

"It's kind of a long story. And I...believe we have not yet been introduced."

His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward again, elbows resting on his knees and hands folded together. "You do not know who I am?"

"Well, we have only just met after all."

An amused smile flashed across his face before he quickly corrected it with a vague expression. "My apologies. I am Fen'Harel, leader of the rebellion. You said yourself you have been searching for us, I assume you have heard of me?"

"Yes, of course. I just didn't have a face to go with the name."

"And your name, lethallan?"

"It's..." She chose honesty. "Ellana."

"Pleased to meet you, Ellana. Now, pray tell, who removed your vallaslin?"

"Ah." He was not letting that go so easily. But as adamant as Fen'Harel was, Ellana was not interested in giving away too much information this early. "A friend." 

His eyes met hers and held them for some time, as if trying to figure her out like a puzzle. She looked away at the nearby bookshelves, attempting to plan a good response for when he persisted his questioning. 

But he simply took a breath and let out a slow exhale before saying, "Well, then, I will eagerly anticipate learning more of your origins when you are ready to share." 

"What?" She looked back at him again, perplexed. "You mean..."

"It is clear there is much more to this story than you wish to tell me right now. But I am confident I will earn your trust in time."

That was not the reaction she expected. He was quite unlike the Solas she knew who did not give out trust so easily. "Why do you trust me enough to allow me to stay, knowing so little about me?"

"Whatever it is you are not telling me, I get the sense it is not worth turning you away for. However, you can rest assured I will be watching closely." A slight arrogant smile flashed across his full lips. "Also, I do not know what magic you tampered with before, but your mana was dangerously low when we found you. You must learn your limits."

Always the lecturer. 

"Of course. Thank you for being so hospitable."

"My washroom is through the door there." He pointed toward the end of the room. "Your supplies you were found with are there as well if you would like to change or anything."

"Oh, yes, thank you." A blush crept up her neck from a sudden thought. "Um...how did I end up in this nightgown anyway?"

"Our appointed healers took care of you. They are professionals, and were respectful, of course. I hope it is alright, you were quite cold and covered in dirt and wetness from the cave. They thought it best to get you into something clean and dry."

"Oh. Well, I appreciate it." She hesitantly moved the covers away from her body, looking back at him in hopes he would give her some privacy while she walked to the washroom. He was a stranger to her here after all and she did not wish to parade around in front of him wearing such revealing bedclothes. Not yet anyway.

His eyes widened slightly when he caught a glimpse of the sheerness of her gown and he cleared his throat. "Ah. I will head outside for a bit and wait for you by the door. If you feel up to it once you are finished, I will show you to your living area."

She nodded with a small smile and he left the room. Once the door clicked behind him she jumped up and rushed to the washroom, quickly finding her bag on the tiled floor. 

The necklace. Hopefully he had not already rummaged through her things and discovered it. 

Her hand felt something's jagged and she grasped it, pulling it out of the bag and sighing with relief. It was still there, the jawbone glistening in the torchlight. She wrapped it back up in a spare shirt and tucked it away again, then washed up and dressed herself in a casual blouse and tightly fitted breeches and boots. Hopefully her attire would not cause her to stick out like a sore thumb in this place. She ran her fingers through her jet black hair until most of the tangles were smooth again. It was shorter now than she had ever worn it, just a bit past her chin. She found herself staring at her reflection in the mirror, wondering what Fen'Harel thought of her appearance. If he still found her beautiful here as he did in her time. 

Tears threatened to fall as she remembered how frail he was before she left him. Left him! How could she? She left everyone. What was she thinking being so selfish? Thinking she could just fix things on her own by traveling through time. She was no better than he was with his ridiculous plans. 

A tear fell down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Perhaps she could escape and get to the eluvian in the cave again. Not that she had any clue how to find it now. 

No. No. She made this decision for a reason. And Fen'Harel had been kinder than expected. Perhaps he would be helpful, unless he really was just the talented liar and trickster the stories claimed he was. But she knew him. Maybe from another time but it was still him, the same heart and soul. He was good. And she would at least try.

She splashed some more water from the basin onto her face a dried it on a nearby washcloth. Grabbing her bag, she headed back out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Before leaving the bedroom to meet Fen'Harel, Ellana took a few moments to observe her surroundings. The room was more rustic than she had ever imagined Elvhenan aesthetics to be but quite charming. His familiar scent was everywhere, a mix of mint, trees, and old book pages with a slight charge of magic in the air. The colors were dark, not unlike the rooms in Skyhold, but with more jewel toned decor peppered throughout. It felt like him. And oh how she missed him. To be surrounded by his presence now—his room, his chair, all of his belongings—was a bit overwhelming after so much emptiness and absence.

The comforting blanket of him enveloped her, the same feeling she would get when walking into the rotunda after a long day of politics and closing rifts.

Shaking away the nostalgia and longing, she opened the door to a hallway outside, finding him waiting patiently for her, back leaning against the stone wall.

"Thank you for waiting," she said, hiking up her bag onto her shoulder. 

"Of course." His long limbs reached to pick up two heavy linen bags next to his feet before beginning to walk down the hall.

"What are those?" She fell into stride beside him. 

"Clothes, hygenic items, just some necessities you might need."

"Oh, thank you but that's alright. I packed plenty and I'm just grateful for shelter. If there are woods nearby, I can hunt and cook for myself."

His feet abruptly stopped their pace and he quickly turned to face her again, eyes looking down to meet her own with an unexpected sternness. "You will not hunt in these woods. At least not alone."

"Excuse me?" Her chin lifted, not to be intimidated by their difference in height. "I assure you, I'm quite capable of-"

"It is not that I think you incapable, Ellana. But the woods outside these walls are more dangerous than you realize. Andruil sometimes hunts there and she cares not if you are an animal or an elf." Then through gritted teeth, "she is an absolute savage."

"Andruil..." The word echoed across her lips as the dalish stories swam through her memory. "Goddess of the hunt."

He shook his head. "A hunter, yes, but not a goddess. Do not give the evanuris more credit than they deserve just because they are powerful."

She nodded, turning away again. "Of course."

They continued their way down the stone brick hall, turning a corner before he stopped at a wooden door with iron embellishments and opened it to reveal a large bedroom. He politely waved her inside first. A few windows let in some light through faded drapes as well as several torches on the walls. There were three beds dressed with the same silk linens as his own and a privacy curtain hung between each one. The curtains were currently tied back, but it was apparent that, when drawn out, they would somewhat create three separate 'rooms' within the room. 

"Most rooms are a shared space to accommodate everyone, so I apologize if it is not as private as you would prefer," he said.

She almost laughed. If only he knew of her dalish origins, a shared space just felt like home. "No, it's quite nice. Thank you."

A small nightstand stood in the corner of each section with drawers for a few belongings. Wooden crates and shelves lined the walls, full of clothes, books and supplies. He led her to a bed at the end of the room that no one had yet claimed and set her bags on the floor beside it. When he stood straight again and turned toward her, they were suddenly closer than expected and his expression showed a sort of sympathy.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly. "Do you think you will be comfortable enough here?" For the briefest moment, she swore his focus settled on her lips before darting back to her eyes again. "We can provide any food or necessities you need. There is a dining hall nearby and you are welcome to help yourself to the kitchens at anytime. I can show you around after you get settled if you would like." 

"You are very kind, Fen'Harel." 

He gave a small smile at the unexpected compliment and she found herself returning it. 

"And you are quite mysterious," he answered. "Nevertheless, I am glad you're here. I know it must be quite a change, but I do believe you will find happiness here and in having your freedom, lethallan."

"Yes, I think I will." A jolt of deep longing surged through her heart. She had missed his physical presence for so long and their reunion before she left through the eluvian did not go at all as hoped. They had not had enough time to say all the words left unsaid, right the wrongs of their relationship or even just hold one another for a damn second before Leliana showed up and things went to shit again. But that was her life wasn't it? Hardly ever a moment to just enjoy something good. Something for her.

Didn't she deserve it by now? Had she not sacrificed enough to earn some small bit of selfish pleasure? Just a touch. To trace the side of his cheek with her fingertips. To touch that cleft in his chin that she had kissed so many times before, in a different world. Her hand twitched.

She pushed aside any rational thought and went to reach for him before the door to the room opened again. Her hand jerked back to her side as they both turned to see two female elves approach.

They were breathtakingly beautiful and dressed much more elaborately than Fen'Harel. 

"Ah," he cleared his throat. "Ellana, this is Shora." He gestured to the woman with umber brown skin and long black locs that fell down her back and shoulders. Delicate silver jewelry adorned her wrists and ears and a tiny hoop hugged the side of her nose. Her intricate dress gleamed in the light with the iridescence of a pearl and she gave Ellana a kind smile.

"Shora has been with us for quite some time, almost since the very beginning of the rebellion." His hand waved toward the other elf. "And this is-" 

The woman cut him off. "Is this the new stray you found?" She had porcelain skin and long waves of silvery hair, though not in a way that reflected age. On the contrary, if they were not in Elvhenan, Ellana would have guessed herself older. A cerulean blue dress cascaded over the woman's slender frame like a waterfall. Pointed features gave her an air of elegant sophistication and when her eyes fell to Ellana, she gave a condescending glare. "Surely, you don't plan on letting her stay. She's probably a spy! And what in Elgar'nan's name is she wearing? Have you ever seen something so-"

"Haleir," he addressed her calmly with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "Have a little more faith in my judgement. I do hope you make Ellana feel welcome, as she will be your new roommate."

Her lips pursed and she shot him a look of fury before storming back out the door again, slamming it behind her. 

He sighed with a slight shake of his head before gesturing to Ellana. "Shora, will you keep an eye out for this one? I was hoping to show her around but I believe I should speak with Haleir privately."

Ellana spoke first. The warmth in her tone from before spoiled by the less than pleasant realization that one of her roommates already despised her. "I told you I can take care of myself." 

"It is not merely for your well being, but ours as well. As I said, I will be watching you closely."

She huffed.

But before leaving he leaned in near enough where only her ears could hear. "If anyone gives you any trouble or you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask for me. I may not trust you completely yet, lethallan, but I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting you." Her spine tingled at the feel of his whispered breath against her skin. Then before she could think of an appropriate response, he nodded a goodbye to her and Shora and walked out the door.

Silence hung in the room for a moment. Ellana suddenly felt lost for the first time since waking here and she wrapped her arms around her body in an attempt to self-soothe.

"Well, that was interesting." Shora's pleasant voice startled her.

"Yes," Ellana said, sourly. "It seems I have already made a quite a bad impression."

She gave a small laugh. "Don't fret over Haleir's reaction, she does not warm to others easily. Most of us here trust Fen'Harel's judgement and he would not allow you to stay if he did not feel strongly about it. He is a great leader, and puts his people and their safety first."

Ellana looked away to hide a frown before changing the subject. "So, are you my other roommate then?"

"Yes, my bed is the middle one there. Just down the hall is a shared washroom and bath area as well. Even with so many of us here, it is large enough to accommodate everyone and still be fairly private."

"How many rebels live here?"

Shora thought for a moment. "I think around two hundred now, the other bases are much larger."

"Other bases?" 

"Oh yes, the rebellion grows larger everyday. Multiple locations also makes keeping track of us more difficult for the Evanuris." She sat gracefully onto her bed and patted the mattress, encouraging Ellana to sit as well. 

Hesitantly, she followed. 

"So, what's your story?" Shora asked, kindly. "How did you end up here?"

"Ah, well..." she fiddled with the hem of her sleeve. "My story is not much unlike everyone else's I suppose. I wished for freedom."

A pause. Then Shora's lips curled into a smirk before saying, "You're full of shit."

"What?" Ellana's eyes snapped up to meet hers. "No, I-"

"I'm pretty good at reading people. And there is something quite interesting I'm picking up from you." She rested her hands behind her and reclined a bit, body relaxed as if talking with an old friend. "I just can't quite put my finger on it."

More silence passed again before Ellana finally broke it. "Well, you do not seem put off by it at least."

"Not at all, I am very pleased to have another roommate share in my suffering. I've had to share this room with Haleir by myself for several years now, can you imagine?" 

She giggled and Ellana's lips turned up into a smile, the tension easing from her body.

"Why don't you let me show you around a bit?" Shora asked, standing. "Maybe we can grab some lunch at the dining hall as well. I think they have mushroom potato stew today." With a pleasant hum, "It's my favorite."

Needless to say, it was difficult for Ellana to trust others now. Sincere kindness was hard to come by in times of war and politics. And then finding out her own lover was not at all who she thought he was had all taken a toll. Outside of her few companions, she did not have much faith in anyone else. But something about Shora and the loneliness of being cut off from almost all familiarity and friends made her willing to try a little. As well as the growling in her stomach. So she finally nodded in agreement and Shora smiled brightly in return.


	8. Chapter 8

Ellana and Shora ate in the dining hall, rows of long narrow tables lined up and covered with all sorts of fruit, cheese and wine. Their stew ladeled into bowls made of hollowed stale bread. The steam from the hot broth warmed Ellana's face as she leaned in for a bite, and it tasted glorious just as Shora had said. A few other elves were eating as well but the room was far from crowded. 

"I like to eat a bit later than everyone else," Shora informed while taking a bite of mushroom from her spoon. "Avoid the busy hours, you know?"

Ellana smiled politely. "Yes." Her dalish upbringing did not give her much opportunity for seclusion. Only when she joined the Inquisition did she ever get to fully experience such privacy by having an enormous bedroom to herself. 

Dalish clan life varried greatly from elf to elf, and she was lucky enough to have a clan she loved wholeheartedly. A clan she now missed very much. A clan that would probably disown her if they knew who she was so desperately in love with. Although a small part of her missed the loud chaos of her clan feasting and laughing together whenever they were not off hunting and doing chores in groups, she grew to enjoy solitude as Inquisitor. 

"You alright?" Shora asked, concern in her large brown eyes. "Look, I get it. It is quite the change coming here. Most of us come from places with luxurious clothes and food, but we sacrifice that for freedom, lethallan. This place is not very opulent or grand, but we have what we need and we're comfortable. Overtime I think you will find it is worth losing the luxuries to be treated right by others." 

"I must admit, it is not what I expected." Ellana rested her elbows on the wooden table, folding her hands under her chin in thought. "But not in a bad way. I never was much for all the fanciness and flashy distractions. It's all a cover up of what is really going on underneath the pretty disguise. I'll take simplicity and authenticity over that any day."

Shora nodded with an agreeable hum. "Is that why you dress like that?"

Ellana faltered, looking down to her clothes. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend. Most of us wear what we came with from our old lives. The hunters have simpler garments but I have never seen any quite like yours."

"Oh, um, yes. I have tried to break away from the old life as cleanly as possible, figured a change in style would be better suited here than finery."

"Well I like it," Shora smiled. "No sense in parading around like royalty when we're rebels after all. Maybe you can show me how to make something similar for myself."

"Perhaps." Ellana could sew well enough but making actual garments was not her forte. She did not have centuries to practice and master every trade like they did in Elvhenan. "So, who built all of this?" She asked, changing the subject. "The rebels?"

"Fen'Harel and Mythal built it with their magic. It took almost a century to complete all of the bases."

"Just the two of them?"

Shora's eyes remained stoic. "They were not called gods without reason. As I'm sure you already know, they are no ordinary elves."

A loud clacking of footsteps against the stone floor behind Ellana's seat caught their attention. 

Haleir approached their table, looking even more regal in the bright light of the tall dining hall windows. The headpiece she wore glistened and her dress billowed behind her like a queen's. "Must you tell this spy so much valuable information, Shora? Don't tell me you have fallen for her blatant lies. I would have thought you wiser than that," her shrill voice seethed.

"Ah, Haleir." Shora tore off a piece of her bread bowl and dipped it into the hot broth before popping it into her mouth. "Do not fret, it's quite common knowledge now that Mythal is sympathetic to the cause." Then after swallowing her food, "here for some stew? It's absolutely delicious today." 

Haleir scowled, eyes snapping to Ellana. "Fen'Harel knows what you are up to and you will soon face the consequences."

Ellana straightened, the familiar rush of quiet strength running through her that had built over the years as the Inquisitor. "Is that what he told you?" she asked simply, taking a bite of food.

She huffed. "My conversations with him are none of your business. But let's just say, he did not take my concerns lightly. I am under the impression he had his own suspicions about you as well. So I wouldn't get too settled in, looks like your stay will be brief." Her pointed features curled into a smug grin and her glare was piercing, challenging.

Was Fen'Harel really suspicious of her? He had asked so many questions earlier and she had held back, been vague. Of course he did not trust her. What had he told Haleir? Were they plotting against her, thinking she really was a spy? Whatever the case, she would be certain not to give Haleir the satisfaction of a reaction. "Perhaps in the meantime, you will allow me to enjoy this delicious soup in peace before he rushes me out," she replied, turning away toward her plate. 

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Shora's mouth tilt up into a smirk before muttering, "Hear, hear. Let us eat before it gets cold."

Haleir rolled her eyes with disgust before finally storming out of the dining hall, allowing Ellana's shoulders to relax a little again when they could no longer hear her footsteps.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment, and uncertainty began to invade Ellana's thoughts again before Shora muttered, "I do not like to speak ill of others, I assure you. But she is an utter bitch, plain and simple." 

A small unexpected laugh burst from Ellana's lips, easing her mind once more. "She really has it out for me. I just wish I knew why."

"Probably something to do with the way Fen'Harel was looking at you. He holds himself at quite a distance from everyone, literally. Just the fact that he was standing so close to you earlier was unusual for him. Haleir is," she paused thinking for the right words. "Well let's just say she has some strong feelings for Fen'Harel. So I'm sure she did not appreciate seeing him show a stranger special attention."

"Special attention?" Ellana's heart thumped a little harder. The same way it had all those years ago (or was it years later) in Haven when she first got to know him. She would shiver at times during those conversations in the snow and tell herself it was only from the cold, but her heart knew otherwise. Excitement, nervousness, and questions running through her mind. Did he mean to say that? Is he actually flirting with me?

And looking back at it now she knew he had been. And she had definitely flirted back. Dipping their toes into the start of something that would become more intense and passionate and utterly painful than they ever could have imagined. 

She was feeling it all over again. 

Does he care for me? Could I be special to him, even here, in this time?

Ellana adamantly shook her head. "I can assure you, he was only being polite with me. There was no special attention whatsoever."

Shora shrugged. "Well, I can assure you, it was unusual behaviour for him."

Thu-thump. 

Ellana cursed herself for reacting so easily. And even more so for not changing the subject when she asked, "What is Haleir's history with him? You said she has strong feelings?"

"Apparently, he may have led her on at one time. She acts like it was serious. But that was years ago and he hardly speaks to her, or anyone for that matter. Most of his time is spent planning with Mythal and gathering more people who wish to join the cause. Other than that he mostly keeps to himself."

Jealousy coiled in Ellana's gut but she pushed it down and took a sip of wine. "Does Mythal ever come here?"

"Not that I know of. Although it is hardly a secret anymore that she is part of the rebellion, she tries to appear as uninvolved as possible. There are still duties she must tend to with the other Evanuris, and she tries to help her people with her position of power there, even if staying is dangerous for her."

Dangerous indeed, Ellana thought. She would be killed by the others, thus leading to the downward spiral of Fen'Harel and the elven people. But what if she could warn them? That is why she came was it not? To help make a better future. Not to selfishly fall in love all over again. 

Shora broke her thoughts. "Tomorrow night we will have music and drinks in the great room. Since we cannot leave these walls very often, we have festivities and entertainment as often as we find the time. Lightens the spirits, you know? Why don't you come along? It would be a good way to get to know some new faces."

"That sounds nice. Perhaps, a little too nice," she frowned. "What about training? Preparations? This is a rebellion after all."

"Sometimes these things take centuries, Ellana. Not that anything quite like this has happened before. But not to worry, there are plenty of preparations going on. Not everyday is spent leisurely, and it will not hurt for you to rest a few days after your difficult journey here."

She nodded and asked, "Will Fen'Harel be there?"

Shora's lips curled into a grin. "Miss him already?"

"That's not what I meant, I hardly know him. I was just curious if he-"

"Relax, I'm teasing," she laughed. "I doubt he will come. He usually doesn't involve himself in such matters." Then with a wink, "But perhaps this time will be different knowing you'll be there."

Ellana sighed and shook her head, but she could not hold back a small smile as Shora laughed again. They finished their food slowly, chatting and enjoying each others company like old friends.


	9. Chapter 9

Sleep was difficult. The bed was comfortable and room quiet besides the soft breathing of those Ellana shared it with. But knowing Fen'Harel, was there, most likely sleeping only just down the hall, made it difficult to stop her mind from turning. 

She had hoped to see him again before they turned in, but he was nowhere to be found. A still reckless part of her was ready to sneak down the hall and knock on his door. Give him the necklace so he could gain the memories of his future self and see the truth of what they were in her time.

But it was too early for that. She needed to earn more of his trust first, if that was even possible. In the meantime, there was nothing she could do but be patient, and if sleep would not come she would attempt to relax herself however necessary to bring it on. 

Thinking a bath could do the trick, she left her room, careful not to wake the others. Her bare feet tiptoed quietly across the cold stone floor, leading her down the hall until she reached the room she was looking for and entered to find it unoccupied. Low hanging plants across the ceiling made the atmosphere feel as if she had stepped outside and the steam rising from the warm waters of the baths greeted her as she found a dark corner to undress. 

Linens and soaps were stacked on wooden shelves that lined the walls and she neatly folded and placed her clothes there as well.  
As soon as her toes touched the water's surface her eyes rolled back in pleasure. Magic must have kept the baths constantly warm, like their own little hot spring inside the rebel base. 

Her naked body slowly entered the bath until the water reached her neck and a sigh fell from her lips. This place was beautiful. So similar to Skyhold once the Inquisition had made some repairs. And he had built it. Fen'Harel and Mythal. Both of them trying to make their world a better place for the people. 

Moonlight shined through large windows and veilfire flickered from sconces on the walls. She tried to relax, breathing deeply and begging her mind to turn off. 

But light footsteps caught her ears and she quickly turned to see a tall shadow standing by the entrance. Whoever it was seemed hesitant, almost frozen for a moment before finally speaking.

"Ir abelas, lethallan. I will come another time."

His voice. 

"No, wait," she blurted, stumbling over her words a moment before adding, "I don't mind. These baths are made to be shared, are they not?"

Fen'Harel slowly stepped out of the shadows, dressed in thin clothes for sleeping. Had he been struggling to find rest as she had? She could just make out the structure of his chest and lean muscles of his abdomen through the sheer tunic he wore. His hair hung around his face and shoulders, no longer gathered back as before. 

A pleasurable shiver slid up her spine and she was suddenly very aware of her nakedness. Fortunately, the darkness and steam made seeing anything under the water unlikely. 

"Well," he said quietly. "If you are certain you do not mind." A question. 

"I am certain." Her voice was breathless and she tried to act casual, swimming away from the stone steps of the bath to give him distance. 

She saw him reach the corner where her own clothes lay, and looked away while he undressed, staring at the moon out the window, trying her best to seem calm until she heard him enter the water. 

"You do not have to hide how you feel, Ellana," she heard him whisper and turned to look at him, the water up to his chest. "Your body language is very telling that you are nervous."

Her breath hitched. How could he already know how she felt for him? Was she that obvious?

"You do not have to fear me. Most rebels do when they first see me. Who can blame them after all the lies that have been told for centuries. But I will not harm you. I am no god and you need not fear me like one."

She almost laughed. He thought her afraid, not helplessly in love. 

They were merely a few feet apart now and she hoped he would assume the flushing of her cheeks was only from the water's heat. "Thank you for your reassurance, Fen'Harel. But I do not fear you, on the contrary I worry that you fear me."

A tilt of his head. "Why would you think that?"

"Earlier today, Haleir told me that when the two of you spoke you were suspicious of me. She said I shouldn't get too comfortable here because I would not be staying long."

"I knew I should not have had you room with her," he muttered with a curse.

"If it's true, then I would ask that you just give me a moment to explain why I was so vague earlier. I assure you, I am not a spy."

"Please," he raised a hand and drifted closer. "You will explain whatever you wish only when you are ready. And you will have all the time you need for that, no one is sending you away."

Her brows creased with suspicion, but she heard only sincerity in his voice when he continued. 

"I must apologize for Haleir. She is, well, it is difficult to explain."

"That's alright," she shook her head. "I'm just relieved." She paused a moment before adding, "and, um, I'll leave you be. Surely you didn't come here to talk."

His response was swift and earnest. "No, that's alright. I rather enjoy talking to you. If you feel like talking of course."

He wanted to talk. And apparently with no intention of interrogating, so Ellana found her mind reeling on what his intentions could be. 

"I don't mind," was all she came up with. She never would have expected their next meeting to be anything like this, casually naked together in a bath. 

Fen'Harel waded closer, but not near enough to be assertive. "How was your day? Besides the absurd encounter with Haleir of course. Do you feel comfortable living here?"

"It's different than I imagined, but I think I could get used to it."

He gave a thoughtful hum in response. "For some the change is too much. They come to gain freedom, but are dismayed by the cost."

"What do they do then?"

"Some wish to leave, return to their old lives. And we let them if they agree to have their memories of their time here forgotten with a spell. Some choose to stay and attempt to adjust."

"You said you would let me go back without threatening to erase my memory."

He shrugged with a small smirk on his lips. "I knew you weren't leaving."

She laughed but mostly from confusion. "And just how would you know?"

"Lucky guess." 

"Tell the truth," she ordered with another small laugh and sent a splash of water towards his face. 

He raised his hands in defense and chuckled, then wiped a hand down his eyes and nose, rubbing the droplets away. His long fingers then trailed through his hair, pushing back the wet strands from his face.

It was suddenly quiet as she stood still and savored the moment to just stare at him, that beautiful face that she knew so well. But her indulgence was cut short when the smile fell from his full lips.

"Sorry for splashing you," she whispered, looking down sheepishly, the trance broken. "That was probably out of line."

"Not at all, lethallan." He came closer, so close she could feel the warmth radiating from him, and placed a knuckle under her chin, lifting it. The feel of his skin against hers, as minimal as it may have been, was intoxicating. Before she could think of something to say his hand fell away and he spoke again. "It is just that, there is something I should tell you. When we first found you in the cave, and woke you from being troubled by the spirit there, I heard-"

"Fen'Harel!" A male voice echoed through the room. "What in Mythal's name are you doing here?"

They quickly turned to see an elf standing by the entrance with one arm raised in confusion, but the dim lighting revealed a handsome grin on his face.  
Long white hair, copper skin...something about him was familiar.

"Sylvas," Fen'Harel glanced toward Ellana. "We will finish our talk soon," he promised with a whisper, then turned again toward the other man with a friendly expression. "Is it that unusual for me to enjoy the public baths?"

The elf chuckled and went to undress. "Yes," he called. "I don't think I have ever seen you set a foot in here. I often wondered how you managed not to smell horrid with such poor hygiene practices."

"I have a personal washroom in my quarters, you arse," Fen'Harel quipped. "And might I remind you there are other rebel bases I frequent. Perhaps I prefer their baths over this one."

They were jesting with one another like old friends. Ellana had never seen such a lighthearted side of him before. He may have slipped a few sarcastic comments here and there during her time, but never so friendly and casual as this. 

Fen'Harel waved a hand toward him. "Ellana, this is my good friend, Sylvas. Sylvas, you remember Ellana?"

He slowly entered the water, giving Ellana a glimpse of his warrior built body. She always thought Solas was large for an elf but Sylvas was just as tall and even more broad.

His silver eyes locked on her own with a look of pleasant surprise. "Ah! You are the new recruit. The one we found in the cave."

That jostled Ellana's memory of strong arms assisting her as she shook herself from a dream or nightmare. And then Solas. No, it hadn't been Solas. It was Fen'Harel. "You were there," she whispered. "You and Fen'Harel are the ones that found me."

"Indeed," Sylvas nodded. "I'm surprised you remember, you were quite out of it at the time." He waded over to stand by Fen'Harel. His hair was just long enough that it brushed the surface of the water as he moved.

"My memory of everything that happened before waking here is still not very clear," she replied. "I'm still piecing some of it together." It wasn't a total lie, she truly could not recall much of what happened between stepping through the Eluvian and waking in Fen'Harel's bed.

"I'm sure it was not an easy journey to get here, lethallan," Sylvas said. "But we are glad you took the risk and made it.

"As am I. Thank you for helping me."

"Of course. I hope you are adjusting well. When I first arrived, it took some time. But Fen'Harel showed me kindness I had never known. To be treated right, to have others genuinely care for you with no ulterior motives, that is worth more than luxury and riches." Sylvas reached a hand out to clasp Fen'Harel's shoulder in what initially seemed like a friendly gesture. But Ellana saw his hand linger, saw the slow but discreet caress of his fingers down Fen'Harel's upper arm until he finally dropped them back into the water. 

That was the kind of touch she had seen only lovers share. And she suddenly felt extremely out of place. 

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Sylvas." She waded toward the steps of the bath, suddenly remembering her clothes were on the other side of the room and she would have to walk to them naked and wet in front of both men.

"You're leaving?" Fen'Harel asked.

"Yes, um, I should probably get some sleep." She faltered before stepping out of the water. 

"Just a moment, lethallan," she heard him say, water splashing as he hurried to catch up with her. "I'll grab your towel for you and walk you back to your room. If that is alright with you of course."

"No, really, I'm fine. Enjoy your time with your friend." 

Before he could reach the steps she steadily climbed them, the water slowly lowering to reveal her breasts, abdomen, hips and thighs, until she was naked before him. She shivered at the adjustment in temperature but turned toward him confidently. He stood still in the water, looking up at her with his eyes slightly widened and jaw set. 

"Thank you for the enjoyable company, Fen'Harel," her voice only loud enough for his ears to hear. "Goodnight." With a small smile she waltzed over to fetch a towel and wrap it around her body before gathering her clothes and heading back toward her quarters.

When she was alone in the hallway, the confidence fizzled and she found herself nervous and jittery.

What had come over her? Why didn't she just let him bring her the towel and walk her to her room? And then it became obvious what her motivation had been. 

Seduction.


End file.
